Of Love and Medschool

Two very important things are happening in my life at the moment.

The first is my parents’ 25th wedding anniversary. Officially, it’s on Thursday, but I feel like it’s such a momentous occasion to me personally that it’s being heralded by a week of personal reflections on love and marriage. Obviously, considering I’m only 21, I can’t fathom the length of time that is 25 years. That’s at least eight or nine years longer than my perception of life if we start at the time of my earliest memory.

I don’t even know why it’s such a huge deal to me since it’s not my anniversary. Maybe it’s just because I’m a big family person and I love my parents’ relationship that I can’t help but make a fuss over the occasion.

I had a very interesting discussion with one of my best friends last night about future husbands and future kids yesterday and it’s weird to think that I’m fast approaching that point in my life where I’ll meet someone and feel strongly enough about them to want to marry them.

A personal phobia of mine is divorce. I don’t know what it is about it that I’m afraid of but I would rather never get married than get married and subsequently get divorced. It’s sort of an irrational fear if you look at my family history. My paternal grandparents were married for 50 years before my grandfather died and my maternal grandparents weren’t far behind when my grandmother died, and now my parents have reached half that and it’s just a lot to live up to I guess. I would honestly feel so disappointed in my life if I ever got divorced and while that might seem a bit dramatic, it’s the truth.

Obviously I still need to do a lot of maturing before the idea of marriage ever becomes a reality for, but in the meantime I will enthusiastically celebrate my parents’ marriage. Theirs is one I hope to mirror in my future because as far as I know they’ve found a rhythm that works for them. They’re not down each others’ throats all the time but they’re not so independent to be distant. I’ve personally never seen them fight, though I know they both have their mild annoyances about the other. I love watching them interact because there are times when they can just be so cute with each other and of course there are other times when they have hilariously witty banter between them. I don’t know, I’m obviously lucky to have them in my life to be such an amazing example for me and I don’t think I can ever take for granted the fact that they must work so hard to keep it up.

But anyway, I’m sure I’ve romanticized their relationship a little, but I am happy for them and really excited that they’ve reached this milestone.

The second set of important things in my life right now are my medschool applications. I’ve submitted the first part, and slowly but surely the “invitations” to complete the second part are trickling in. I’ve applied to a total of eleven schools and so far I’ve received supplemental invitations from four of them and completed two. Which basically means I’m expecting the interview invitations from those two schools.

I’m seriously beyond excited to be doing these applications. Sure, they’re a bit tedious sometimes, and writing about my attributes and reasons why I’d make a beneficial addition to a medical school is a little daunting, but it’s another step closer to becoming a doctor and fulfilling my career goals.

I just finished sending off the application to my first choice school and I’m so impatient to hear back from them about a possible interview. I don’t expect I’ll get interview requests from all the school I applied to, and depending on how my interviews go I’m pretty sure I won’t get accepted into every single one but I would be really disappointed if I don’t get into my top choice.

When I was applying to do my undergrad work my “top choice” was Stanford, though to be honest I thought it was a little lofty. But this time around I genuinely feel like I have a good chance. I’m not a shoe in of course, but I’m a competitive candidate, I think, and I’m really excited to start medical school and the next step of my life.

But we’ll see. The more emails I get from medical schools the more excited I get about the whole process. Now I just need to brush up on my interview skills and general knowledge so that I can ace all the interviews that I get.

I hope you’re all well and have things to be excited about this week!

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More like Project Whenever

I don’t think I can express in words just how disappointed I am in myself for not continuing with this blog for so long. I honestly have no excuse. It sort of just fell to the bottom of my priority list when I was doing finals and then subsequently studying for the MCAT and finally once I arrived home I just couldn’t be bothered I guess.

So much has happened in the last month or two that I haven’t been blogging. For one thing, I’m interning with an ophthalmologist (which will hopefully be my future medical career). I also got my MCAT scores back and discovered that I’m not so hopeless a candidate as I may have thought. And finally, I sent off the first part of my medical school application. Exciting stuff, really.

I’m not sure if I can genuinely apologize for not keeping up with this blog because even though it is/was one of my resolutions, I really feel like life was better spent lived than blogged about. But of course, that could just be me rationalizing my obvious fault which is that I never stick with what I start.

I’ve been meaning to write this entry for a few days now because I’ve had the itch to start back with this blog. I know in my heart that my previous driving force isn’t there anymore. As is usually the case with new year’s resolutions, mine have seemed to fade slightly. But, I’ve vowed to find some new driving force, even if that is just plain old stubbornness and an urge to prove myself wrong. I will finish this blog. I will not let it fall to the wayside again… maybe. If I do, I’m sure I’ll find some other way to rationalize the break and subsequent restart again, but until that time, I’ll keep believing in myself.

I obviously need to get back into the swing of blogging. I feel like it’s that awkward moment where you meet with someone you haven’t seen in a long time and you don’t quite know how to act or what to say because you know you’ve changed and you’re pretty sure they’ve changed, but you’re not sure how to reconcile those changes. So how about we just get any awkwardness out of the way now.

Hi again. I hope you’ve been well and while I doubt you’ve missed this blog, I hope you’re a little pleased that it’s back if only momentarily. I will say that I’ve missed blogging. It’s one of those things that once you get the hang of it, even a little, it becomes part of how you think and interact with the world. I’ll find myself in a situation where I’ll want to discuss my thoughts on something, but they’re too in depth and just a little too private for Facebook. But I can do just that in a blog. Perhaps it’s a little narcissistic to think that anyone would want to read my thoughts on anything, but I’ve never claimed to be completely humble. And anyway, I feel like all bloggers have to be a little vain at least.

Anyway, I promise I will try. And if my promise to you doesn’t mean much considering that I abandoned this blog for so long, then I promise myself. So, I’ll see you within the next week! Hopefully I’ll have something more interesting to talk to you about.


Three Weeks Until Freedom!

One week from now I’ll be done with classes, two weeks and a day from now I’ll be done with finals, and three weeks from today I’ll be done with the MCAT.

I feel like it was just yesterday that I wrote my first blog post talking about studying for this big scary exam that determines my future. While I certainly have been studying, I definitely haven’t gotten as much done as I would have liked. I’m of two minds at the moment. The first thinks that I could do it. Just a little more reviewing and I’ll be fine and I’ll “ace” it. But the second doesn’t think I have near enough time to fully prepare myself. Once again I’m psyching myself out and I think it’s mainly because I just don’t know what to expect at all. Not to mention I’m feeling a little bit pressured at the moment because this is a really tough semester for me. So on top of studying for my regular classes and trying to do well in them, I also have the MCAT to worry about.

I just want to fast forward my life for the next three weeks. Or just skip over it completely but still come out on the other side with great results all around. I kinda just want to get everything over with but at the same time postpone it as much as possible.

On a side note, I can’t believe how fast time is passing by. The end of April is fast approaching which means the year is already one third the way over. This time next year I’ll be graduating and (hopefully) on my way to medical school! Imagining myself as a medical student always seemed really far in the future until now, and I’m really starting to feel old these days especially since I’m volunteering so much with kids. The other day this little girl tried to lie to me about her age having forgotten that she mentioned it to me a couple weeks ago, and I thought it really funny that she could believably lie and say she was 6. Obviously 6 and 9 (her real age) aren’t very far apart even though 6 is two thirds of 9. That’s like me lying and saying I’m 14 instead of 21 which is ridiculous.

But anyway, I just wanted to give a little update because I know I’ve been slacking with my blog posting. My weekly schedule’s just gotten really weird as the semester’s progressed, but hopefully I can really get back into the swing of things by the time I go back home for the summer. I’m still really dedicated to finishing this blog! I promise!

Hope you all have a great week!


In sickness and in health

I’m sick.

I like to think I have a pretty good immune system these days, especially compared to when I was a child, but I do occasionally get sick. Before college I’d gone a long while without getting any sort of flu or sickness, but now my immune system freaks out mostly when the season decides to change. I guess it’s because I’m not accustomed to the sharp temperature change (because in Texas season change isn’t a gradual thing) or something but like clockwork, I always get sick.

I’ve noticed over the years that I act one of two ways when I’m sick. I either act like a big baby, or I’m super practical about it.

Last spring, I got an eye infection the day before my birthday, and during that whole ordeal, I was the former personality.

Me being a baby

I woke up with one red eye and had gone to the doctor immediately. She gave me some medicine to put in it, but told me I couldn’t go to class because it was contagious. Of course I took my medicine like I was supposed to, but that was the only practical thing I did. Mainly it was the fact that I’d have an eye infection for my birthday which was why I was being childish about it, but there were a few hours that day where I just curled up on my bed with my stuffed animals and watched cartoons.

Last fall when I got sick, I was the latter personality. The first symptom I get when I’m about to get sick is a sore throat. I always get the sore, swollen feeling at the back of my throat and I just know that within the next twenty-four hours I’ll be sick. But as soon as  woke up with that pre-sore-throat feeling, I immediately began downing peppermint tea – which always makes my throat feel better – and pasting Vicks on myself to ease the congestion. I thought I was pretty effective about dealing with it, especially since I got over it within a few days.

Yesterday I developed the pre-sore-throat feeling and this morning when I woke up it was a full-blown cold. I’ve got a fever, muscle pains, my face feels congested and my throat’s getting worse as I type, and I’ve yet to decide, consciously or otherwise, what kind of personality I’m going to be this time. I really don’t want to be sick (who does?) so I shouldn’t be careless about it, but we’ll see.

I feel awful right now, and I would rather crawl into bed and sleep than blog, but I can’t because a) I woke up from a two hour nap not long ago and b) It’s 6:30 and if I sleep now I’ll wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to fall back to sleep. Sick people problems.

So here I am, in sickness and in health, continuing this blog because any other day I’d really want to finish it, and I’d comment on how this is post 13 which would mean I’m one quarter of the way through my 52 posts, but today I’m torn between cuddling with my friend Omelet or brewing some tea.

Omelet and my blanket look so inviting.


Steps to a Happier Me and/or You.

I’m going to let you guys in on a big secret; I’m not always a fountain of optimism. Shocking, I know!

Most days I’m sure I can get annoying with how optimistic I am, but then there are days like the last couple where I just get down on myself. Those days I wake up and I never look good in anything I try on, I’m hopeless about my love life and I’m not smart enough to succeed in life – to name just a few of my self-depreciating thoughts. Now, I’m certainly not looking to throw a pity party, nor am I fishing for compliments, I just figured that since I’m blogging about my life, I need to blog about the down times I have too.

I wouldn’t say I have self esteem issues, because most days I feel great about who I am as a person and I don’t think I have any more body issues than the average woman. But I definitely do fall into a slump sometimes and I hate it. As someone who is usually upbeat and happy, I hate how sluggish and hopeless I feel when I’m down. In fact, it’s downright annoying to me.

I like to think I’m pretty good at giving advice about things I know about and I certainly know about being happy so I’m going to outline a few of the steps I take in order to regain my emotional balance.

Step 1: Play Dress-Up!
On days like today when I don’t wake up feeling my best, I always try to “dress-up” because I feel like it might induce a good mood in me. It usually works for a little while after I get over the whole, “Blah, my tummy looks HUGE in this shirt” thing, but the key is to make sure that you’re wearing something out of the ordinary for you. Like today I wore a skirt and a lot of really bright colours. It’s different because I don’t wear skirts to class all that often and when I do it’s because it’s great weather out or I just wanted to be a little girly. By wearing one today when I didn’t feel so hot, I was reminded of all the good reasons why I decide to wear skirts.

Step 2: Laugh/Smile, a lot!
I’ll admit that this one isn’t all that hard for me. Even if I’m in a bad mood, I can usually still laugh or smile at silly things. So to make things a little more difficult for myself, I go around spouting reasons why I should be smiling. Example: Every chance I got today, I commented on how good the weather was. Yes, it was a little hot, but it was sunny! And yes, I was cooped up inside whole day and didn’t get to soak up the sun anyway, but at least I didn’t have to walk to and from the library through mud or puddles! That’s probably not a very good example, but my point is, smiling really is contagious and even if you’re having a really bad day, it can help.

Step 3: Find some down time to reflect.
Something that really helps me when I feel down is alone time. I’m one of those people who needs time by myself to recharge and refocus myself, so taking time out from life is always really important for me. Most times the reason why I’m feeling down in the first place is because I haven’t taken time for myself. And when I say reflect, I don’t mean meditation or deep internal conversations. I just need time to be by myself. To read or watch a movie or TV. Time to relax and let my mind wander. A lot of times if I’m really upset about something I find myself just laying on my bed staring up at the ceiling, and as strange as that sounds, it really helps. You may not be a person who needs alone time, but instead of finding time for yourself, take time to do something that centres you again. Something that makes you happy where you can be reminded of why you like yourself in the first place.

I know this is a sappy-ish post but I feel like it’s really important for people to be able to find their own happiness. I like the fact that if I’m feeling down, I can always right myself, and that I don’t need a lot for me to be happy. The true source of all my optimism is really gratitude and being able to appreciate the little things in life like the fact that can do stupid drawings with my best friend on Skype, or the big things like the fact that I have four amazing best friends.

Anyway, I know my sour moods don’t last long at all and tomorrow I might wake up and feel super optimistic about life, but I just wanted to share this with you guys because my happiness has been something I’ve been working on my whole life, and I’m really proud that I’ve reached a point where I can honestly say that I may not always be a fountain of optimism, but I’ll never be a dam of pessimism.


Some explanations are in order I guess.

So I’ve officially missed two weeks of blogging. It’s not so much that I didn’t want to blog or couldn’t think of anything to blog about or that my motivation to finish this is waning, but life just got in the way. Or maybe I should say that I didn’t allow my blog to get in the way of my life.

In the last two weeks, I didn’t have any major tests or projects due or anything, especially since one of those weeks was spring break, but I did get to do some awesome things. I got to go to a Dallas Mavericks game with a couple of friends! That was awesome. It was the first professional basketball game I’d ever attended, and as much as I enjoyed myself, I was actually pretty let down. Don’t get me wrong, it was great and I had a lot of fun, but college games are much more active and exciting what with all the chants and traditions. The day after that I switched gears completely and went to see a play that was being put on by my college theatre group with two of my friends. It was a little weird, and I’m not sure if I enjoyed it, but I know I didn’t not enjoy it. I just left feeling very confused. And it wasn’t an Inception sort of mind blowing confusion, it was just confusion.

Then, during spring break I went back home to Trinidad which was just the best. I flew in on Friday and when I woke up on Saturday there were pink roses in my room from my parents. And then I spent the entirety of Saturday playing video games with my bother and father. It was a great day. My two friends flew in on Sunday and the rest of the week became a wonderful rush to pack as much culture and experience into their trip as we could fit, from tasting local foods to driving around the country. I got to show them my awesome British driving skills! Which is quite the reversal of roles since when I’m in America they’re usually the ones driving me around. Anyway, it was great. I love showing people around my country. It’s even better when they’re willing to try new things because let’s be honest, doubles doesn’t exactly look very appetizing, but they’re delicious!

Yum!

All in all it was a great two weeks. Very event-filled for me since I’m usually a homebody, but amazingly fun just the same! So you can understand why I really just didn’t have time to blog, and I’d rather post a well thought out entry about something in particular than an update about my life which is pretty much what I’m doing now anyway I guess.

But now that I’ve skipped two weeks, I’m gonna have to make it up somehow. Or I could just change the name of my blog to Project 50 but that doesn’t quite have the same effect for me. I think I might just rearrange my posting schedule so that I can squeeze in two extra posts somewhere which might be defeating the whole purpose in one respect, but in another, my goal with this blog is to see it through to the end. So I’ve missed a couple weeks. I think if I keep posting more or less regularly for the rest of the year I’ll still be successful. I’ve mentioned in a previous post that new year’s resolutions are an on-going thing. If I want to start finishing things, I need to restart things that I’ve quit in the past. I’ll start with this blog, though in my mind I hadn’t really quit it in the first place.

Anyway I hope you had a great past couple weeks! I’m back and ready to blog again, and I’ll try to at least make minimalist posts if my life gets exciting again, but don’t hold your breath for that, haha.


30 Day Minute Book Meme and other various and sundry things

I love reading. It is by far one of my favourite hobbies. I read anything from sleazy romance books to epic fantasies to murder mysteries, as long as it’s not horror. I discovered this “30 day book meme” a few days ago and decided that I really wanted to do it on my blog. But since my blog’s a weekly publication, I felt like it would just get tedious after 30 weeks, so I’m going to answer all the questions in one blog!

In honour of March 1st being both World Book Day and Ron Weasley’s birthday, here are my 30 Min Book Meme answers.

Day 1: Best book you read last year (2011)
That would definitely have to be Howl’s Moving Castle by Dianna Wynne Jones. I’m a huge fan of the Studio Ghibli adaptation of the book and I’ve always wanted to read it so I just ordered it one day and I loved it! It’s significantly different from the movie that I still really enjoyed reading it, not to mention it’s just a great fantasy/coming-of-age story.

Day 2: A book you’ve read (at least) three times
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. I’ve read several books three times or more but the one I’ve read the most is probably Pride and Prejudice.

Day 3: Your favorite series
This may be a bit cliche, but Harry Potter. It’s an integral part of my life. I literally grew up with Harry. I read the first book when I was 11 and the 7th book book came out when I was 16. I felt like Harry, Ron and Hermoine were my good friends and I laughed and cried right along with them. A defining series in my life for sure.

Day 4: Favorite book of your favorite series
I’d have to say it’s a toss up between the third and fourth books. The third because, come on, Sirius is just the bomb, not to mention I loved learning about Harry’s parents and his dad’s mischief. The fourth because it was just epic. It literally was the climax of the series with Voldemort returning and Cedric dying. Plus I loved the Tri-Wizard Tournament events.

Day 5: A book that makes you happy
Long Time Coming by Sandra Brown. It’s just this sweet little romance book that I never get tired of reading and it always makes me happy.

Day 6: A book that makes you sad
The book I have to read for my Gender studies class right , Half the Sky, is so sad. I’m not sure if it counts because it’s non-fiction, but it’s pretty much about the mistreatment of women in the world from sex-trafficking to rape to abuse and it’s just depressing. I do like to read it though because it really makes me realize how fortunate I am as a woman to not have to worry about those kinds of things happening to me on a daily basis.

Day 7: A book that is most underrated
Epic by Conor Kostick. Such a good book. Anyone who likes dystopia stories and videogames would love Epic. It’s set in a world where the economy is managed through an MMORPG and your rank in life is determined by your status in the cyber world.

Day 8: A book that is most overrated
Twilight by Stephanie Meyer. I’m probably going to make some enemies right now but I just don’t get the hype. I agree that the story is interesting and probably the best idea ever in terms of attracting an audience (teenage fan girls), but the characters just annoy me, especially Bella. She’s such a vapid protagonist to me, and I honestly just couldn’t stand her when I tried to read the books.

Day 9: A book you thought you wouldn’t like but ended up loving
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee. I definitely didn’t think I would like this book at all mainly because it’s typically required reading in schools. But I think I’ve mentioned already that I wasn’t forced to read it and that my brother suggested that I should, so I did and I absolutely loved it. I love the story and the characters and the tension and mystery, just everything.

Day 10: A book you thought you would like but ended up hating
Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien. Now I know I just made some enemies. Don’t get me wrong, I think he and his books are genius and the definition of an epic fantasy, and I was all gung-ho about reading them at first but they’re just a little bit too slow for me.

Day 11: Favorite classic book
I’m not sure if I can duplicate answers, or if it’s even classified as a classic, but I’ll have to say To Kill a Mockingbird.

Day 12: A book you used to love but don’t anymore
This is a tough one. I don’t really read books more than once or twice unless I absolutely love them. Thus far, I haven’t read a book over a few times and then realized that I didn’t like it anymore so I don’t really have an answer for this one.

Day 13: Favorite author
Another hard one. If we based this on the sheer number of books I’ve read from one author then I’d probably have to say Sandra Brown. I love both her cheesy romance stuff and her more murder mystery stuff too. But I definitely can’t just choose one author. I mean J.K. Rowling made my preteen-hood. And I’ve read a lot of the books that Jane Austen’s written too, so I don’t know if I can really answer this one either.

Day 14: Favorite book of your favorite author
If we use Sandra Brown, then White Hot is my favourite book of hers. It’s murder mystery meets romance meets political intrigue. It’s a great story which actually surprised me at the end with a plot twist.

Day 15: A favorite male character
Po in Graceling by Kristin Cashore. Even though Sirius Black and Atticus Finch are two of my favourite male characters, I feel like I’ve mentioned those two books a bit much already, so I’ll switch things up. Po is a undercover prince in the world of Graceling who is travelling with the female protagonist Katsa. He’s amazing and as the story progresses you just can’t help but love him more and more, especially his perseverance.

Day 16: A favorite female characer
I love a lot of female characters in books, but honestly Katniss from the Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins is definitely one of my favourites. She’s strong and independent and generally a great person if not a little stubborn at times.

Day 17: Favorite quote from a favorite book
So I don’t really remember specific quotes from books very well, but I’m going to generalize and say anything that Atticus Finch said. He’s just full of wisdom that’s universally applicable to life.

Day 18: A book that disappointed you
Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck. I really got into this book even though it was required reading. I don’t know why, but I felt so unfulfilled by the end. I felt like there was no real resolution, plus it was just sad.

Day 19: Favorite book turned into a movie
Howl’s Moving Castle. As is usually the case, the movie is significantly different from the book but I still really enjoy both unlike a lot of other film adaptations of books.

Day 20: Favorite romance novel
Oh my goodness. I really can’t choose. So many romances that I’ve read are really good be it classical Austen or more contemporary works. I just love reading about romance and while I understand Pride and Prejudice is timeless, I still love the modern romances I read too.

Day 21: Favorite book from your childhood
I loved a lot of books as a child but one I still re-read even to this day is The Leap by Jonathan Stroud. It’s about a girl whose best friend drowns in a mill pond and she keeps having what she thinks are dreams about him needing to be rescued from a world beyond the mill pond. It’s definitely a book written more for kids but the story is really gripping.

Day 22: Favorite book (item) you own
Can I just be general and say my Card Captor Sakura manga? I probably seem like a super nerd, but this is definitely one of my favourite series (both television and comic). This was also a big part of my childhood and teenage-hood, so I just feel a certain attachment to my physical copies of the manga.

Day 23: A book you’ve wanted to read for a long time but still haven’t
Saga by Conor Kostick. It’s the sequal to Epic and ever since I read Epic (like six years ago) I’ve wanted to read the sequel but I never saw it in bookstores and until now I hadn’t even thought about ordering it online. We’ll definitely have to fix this.

Day 24: Most overlooked book
Isn’t this the same as most underrated? But I guess I’ll name something else. Anything by John Green. I don’t feel like enough people know about the greatness that is John Green books.

Day 25: A character who you can relate to the most
I think Sophie from Howl’s Moving Castle is pretty much a fictional version of me. She’s shy and reserved and she’s on this crazy adventure because she’s trying to help her sisters. Along the way she learns to be self-sufficient and confident and that’s pretty much where I want to be in life.

Day 26: A book that changed your opinion about something
A Family Supper by Kazuo Ishiguro is actually a short story, but whatever. It’s a story about a guy who goes home to Japan shortly after his mother passed away after a long period of not visiting and it’s just crazy suspenseful and I really didn’t know what to expect or what actually happened at the end (think: the end of Inception). It’s a real psychological roller coaster.

Day 27: A book with the most surprising plot twist or ending
I don’t get surprised by books very often. I usually see plot twists coming a mile away, but that could be because I don’t read horror books which I’m sure are laden with them. But like I said in one of my previous answers, White Hot by Sandra Brown had a plot twist that I definitely didn’t see coming at all.

Day 28: Favorite title, as is
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Although I’ve never actually read the book(s) the titles are real hooks. I guess we can classify this series under number 23 as well. 

Day 29: A book everyone hated but you liked
Apart from required reading in school, I don’t know of any books that I’ve read and loved that a lot of people I know didn’t like.

Day 30: Favorite book of all time
To Kill a Mockingbird. Hands down.

In other news, March 1st is also my birthday! I’m so proud to share a birthday with Ron, less proud to share it with Justin Bieber. But none-the-less I will be turning twenty-one at 11:17 am tomorrow morning. Exciting!

Also, random English lesson of the day, I learned the saying “various and sundry things” which I previously thought was “various insundry things.” And also, “various and sundry” is actually redundant since sundry means varied or diverse.

Anyway, I hope you’re having a great week!